


Counted Up Our Feelings and Divided Them Up Even

by Chash



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-13
Updated: 2017-11-13
Packaged: 2019-02-01 23:47:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12715347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chash/pseuds/Chash
Summary: Clarke's not happy about Bellamy going on an actualdate, but if he's going to do it, she's not going to let him leave the apartment looking like he's on his way to his senior prom. That's what friends are for.





	Counted Up Our Feelings and Divided Them Up Even

**Author's Note:**

> Inspiration from [this post](http://ponyregrets.tumblr.com/post/167392969839/nerds-are-cool-if-youre-struggling-for-au)!

"Okay," says Bellamy. "How do I look?"

Clarke takes a breath and lets herself count to three before she has to look up from her iPad.

It would be a fairly massive understatement to say she was unenthused about Bellamy having an actual, honest-to-god, old-fashioned _date_. A guy asked him out, and he said yes, and now he's _dating_. Which is, obviously, his business and his decision, but Clarke prefers when he doesn't date. Which is selfish of her, but it's not like she dates either. She's not depriving him of anything she does herself. Not dating was something she thought they had in common.

Of course, that would only last if they have an agreement to not date, and mostly they've just both been not dating, and Clarke's the only one who hasn't been dating because she's in love with her roommate. Bellamy's just kind of bad at finding actual romances, instead of hookups, and Clarke knows it's kind of gross to care less about that than dating, but she doesn't care if he has sex. Sex is fine.

But he's got a date, and she's supposed to advise him on outfits. Because that’s what friends do.

Luckily, when she finally does force herself to look at him, it's not actually a problem.

"Wait, that's what you're wearing?"

Bellamy looks down at himself, frowning. "Is it not what I'm wearing?"

Clarke bites the corner of her mouth. "You're wearing a _tie_."

"And? It's a date. I should look nice, right?"

"Where are you going on your date again?"

"Uh--" He frowns, pulls his phone out of the pocket of his slacks.

It's not as if he looks _bad_ , of course. Clarke thinks it might actually be physically impossible for him to look bad. And if he was taking someone to, say, their high-school prom, he'd look completely appropriate, but for the average first date, he's absolutely overdoing it. 

"Jackson's, on Third?"

"Oh, wow, yeah. No one has ever worn a tie to Jackson's ever, I'm pretty sure."

Bellamy undoes the knot and starts to tug the tie from around his neck. “Someone probably came in after work and didn’t take their tie off. That must have happened.”

“They probably made them take the tie off at the door. Are you really trying to make that good an impression?” she can’t help asking.

“I don’t want to make a bad impression,” he retorts, but he deflates quickly. “Fuck, Clarke, I don’t know. He asked me out at a gala. I was dressed up. So maybe he thinks I’m just—like that.”

“Always wearing a tie?”

He shrugs. “That could be a thing, right?”

“Okay, did you suggest Jackson’s or did he?”

“He did. The whole thing was his idea.”

Clarke can’t help a smile. “I’m not sure why you’re trying to blame him for the date existing. I just wanted to get the vibe. If he asked to go to Jackson’s, he’s probably looking for something more low key. He’s not expecting black tie again.”

“It is his fault the date exists. Just as a point of order.” He sighs. “But yeah, you’re right. Will you just come help me pick out something to wear?”

“If you didn’t want to go, you could have just turned him down,” Clarke points out, following him into the bedroom. “You don’t have to do this.”

“I’m pretty sure I do _now_. It would be shitty to cancel on him an hour before we’re supposed to meet. It seemed like a good idea when I said yes. I never date. This was supposed to be—“ He gestures vaguely. “Getting back out there.”

“And now?”

“Now I remember I don’t like it out there. In here is way better.”

“Well, the good news is that once you’re done, you can come back here.”

“And never leave again.”

She’s looking through his closet, so he at least doesn’t see her smile. “Okay, I think this shirt,” she says, holding up a blue button down with thin white stripes. 

“Same pants or different ones?”

“Different. Why are those kind of shiny?”

“To match my suit jacket.”

“Have you never been on a date?”

“Shut up,” he grumbles, and when he starts unbuttoning his shirt, she turns away. “You know it’s been a while. And it was easy in college.”

“Really?”

“I just wore a polo shirt and everyone was always impressed with how nice I looked.”

“Of course they were. I like—“

Her voice dies as she turns to see him, crisp white shirt unbuttoned and open over a tank top, his pants half off. It’s not as if she’s never seen him undressed before—they live together, it happens—but she’s never seen him _undressing_ , stepping out of clothes and exposing inch after inch of perfect skin and muscle.

“Like what?” he prompts, glancing up.

“These pants,” she manages. “Try these.” 

"Those are basically the same pants." He gets out of the pants he's wearing and shrugs the shirt off his shoulder, and he doesn't seem to expect Clarke to look away, so she just doesn't. 

"The pants I gave you are less shiny."

"Uh huh." He holds up the shirt she picked out for him. "Tucked or untucked?"

"What?"

"The shirt? Tuck it in or no?"

"I think not for now. Let me see how it looks untucked."

Apparently he puts his pants on first when he's not tucking his shirt in, which makes some sense, but Clarke didn't really need to know that about him. Not when he's going on a date. If she's going to find out how Bellamy gets dressed, she'd like it to be in the morning, after they woke up together.

Still not a good thought to be having, under the circumstances.

"Better?" Bellamy asks, holding his arms up for her approval.

"Much better."

"Still untucked for the shirt?"

"Yeah, I think so."

He nods. "Okay, cool. I'll just get my contacts and--"

"Contacts?"

"Yeah."

"I think the glasses work."

He pushes them up, a nervous gesture he performs almost every time anyone reminds him he's wearing them. He doesn't usually wear them out of the house, but Clarke had somehow just assumed. He looks so _nice_ in his glasses.

"Have you never seen a teen movie? Taking off your glasses is the first step in every makeover."

"And like I said, you're not going to prom. It's your call, but I think you look good in the glasses. They go with the outfit," she adds, before it can sound too much like a general statement on his attractiveness.

"I'll think about it. Should I bring flowers?"

Clarke pauses. "Do you like this guy?"

"Not particularly. I might, I guess, but I barely know him."

"So maybe don't go overboard acting like this is a date you're really invested in."

"I don't want him to think I'm phoning it in."

"Seriously, how long has it been since you went on a date?"

He glares. "How long has it been since _you_ went on a date?"

"At least I wouldn't wear a prom dress. Just be yourself, Bellamy. Glasses, no glasses, it doesn't matter. But don't worry about making a good impression. You don't need to go out of your way."

"And after this is over, I can come back, put on my pajamas, and tell him I moved to another country for work."

"That's the spirit." She lets herself straighten his collar. "You look good. Try to have fun, okay? Until you can come home and hang out with me instead."

"At least I'm getting a good meal. Thanks for your help."

"It's a public service. You'd do the same for me."

"You probably wouldn't need it."

"Probably not." She realizes they're still standing very close, and she can smell him, and if she doesn't move, she's going to start trying to arrange his hair just for an excuse to touch it, so she takes a step back. "Okay, well, I don't have a date, so I need to make dinner."

"Yeah," he says, and there probably isn't any strangeness in his voice. And if there is, it's probably just because _she's_ acting weird. "Sounds good."

*

**Me** : Bellamy's on a date

**Raven** : Is this your way of telling me you guys finally started fucking  
Like I ask "with who?" and you're like "WITH ME!!"

**Me** : Nope  
With some guy he met at a museum benefit

**Raven** : Wait, seriously?  
Fuck, that sucks  
I'm sorry

**Me** : He's not excited about it, at least

**Raven** : Still  
Sorry

**Me** : It's my fault  
It's not like I ever said anything

**Raven** : Good news, it's just one date  
When he gets home, you can still say something

**Me** : What if it went really well?

**Raven** : I'm pretty sure there's no first date in the universe so good he doesn't want to know you're an option  
I can't 100% promise he'd rather go out with you  
But I'd do like 90%  
Maybe even 95  
All I’m saying is direct communication  
It's so crazy it just might work

**Me** : I know  
I don't want to have to find a new place to live if it doesn't work out

**Raven** : I think you guys can probably survive an unrequited crush

**Me** : Yeah, probably  
But I don't want to

**Raven** : In that case, have fun with your roommate going out on dates that aren't with you

**Me** : I hate you

**Raven** : I know  
Good luck

*

Bellamy gets home before nine, which Clarke can't help feeling optimistic about. He wasn't even gone for three full hours, and that's including travel time. If he'd been excited about the whole thing, she hopes she'd be upset on his behalf, but since he seemed more annoyed than enthused, she's probably not obligated to be sympathetic about it not going well.

"Welcome back," she says, and he flashes a smile. He did take the glasses off, which just means she can see how tired he looks. Definitely not a relaxing, fun time.

"Thanks."

"That bad?"

"No." He collapses onto the couch with a sigh. "Is it weird that makes me feel worse? Like, it was completely and totally fine. Absolutely nothing wrong. I could probably keep going out with him forever."

"And that's bad?"

"It means I feel bad that I don't want to. Maybe I'd start liking him."

"But then you'd have to keep leaving the apartment."

"Yeah, that's the big issue." He pushes himself up with a sigh. "I told him I had fun but he didn't ask about another date and I didn't offer, so I figure we're probably done."

"Sorry?"

He frowns. "Are you?" 

"Nope, not even slightly."

His mouth tugs up. "Yeah, I thought not."

"I like having you around. Go get changed."

He lets out a breath, shoulders his bag. "Yeah. That sounds good."

He’s gone for a few minutes before it occurs to her that he really shouldn't need _this_ long to get changed. Even taking into account getting his contacts out, it just really isn't particularly time consuming. He’s taking off his shirt and changing his pants. He probably won’t even bother switching the tank top.

So maybe he actually is upset. Bellamy isn't always the most emotionally forthcoming guy, and maybe she should have pressed harder. Maybe he was playing it cool, but he really was invested, and now he's disappointed.

She knocks on his door, and, when there's no response, pushes it open to find him, for the second time today, halfway out of what appears to be his nicest suit.

"Uh," he says.

"Were you changing into _more_ formal clothes?" she asks.

"I was. It was going to be this--gesture, I guess."

"Gesture?"

He runs his hand through his hair. "Yeah, I decided it was stupid and changed my mind as I was tying the tie. So then I was trying to get changed back and--here we are, pretty much."

"I'm still missing the gesture," says Clarke, but she feels a little giddy. Whatever the gesture was, it was probably about _her_. There's no one else here to gesture at.

He lets out a breath. "I don't want to be here because it's better than anywhere else. I want to be here because you're here and I'd always just rather be with you. So I was going to get dressed up for fucking prom and put on my glasses and--" He roots around in his bag and produces a slightly crushed rose. "I got you a flower."

The laugh she lets out is involuntary, but also bright and clear and delighted, so she doesn't worry he'll misinterpret it. "You wanted to put on a suit to make out on our couch?" she asks.

"No, I wanted to put on a suit for an impulsive love confession," he says. "I know I don't have to dress up to make out on the couch. Or I wouldn't," he corrects. "If you wanted to make out on the couch. Which you do?” he finishes, voice sounding like it goes up almost involuntarily.

"Which I do," she confirms, stepping into his space. He really _does_ look good like this, and the fact that he was doing it for her and then changed his mind is even better. 

All that effort, when all he had to do was ask.

He's watching her, attentive without being nervous, letting her take the last step, and when she tugs him down by the collar, he comes to her, pressing his mouth to hers slow and gentle. It's the kind of kiss you give someone when you're not in a hurry, when you're sure you're going to get to kiss them plenty more times, and Clarke is looking forward to heat and passion, but she'll take sweet for now.

"I was worried about your date all week," she admits, when he pulls back to look at her.

He laughs. "Really?"

"I thought you might actually _like_ him."

"I didn't not like him. But it would have been unfair. I just thought I should try to get over you."

"Or you could not."

He leans down to kiss her again. "Yeah, I like that one better." He smiles, this soft, warm expression she's never seen on him before. "So, pajamas, couch?"

"I don't know, we're already in here. Naked and bed sounds a lot better."

It takes him a second to process the suggestion, but as soon as he has, he grins and tugs her from the closet toward his bed. "Yeah, you're right. That sounds like my new favorite place."

*

**Me** : Bellamy's on a date!

**Raven** : Congratulations on finally going on an official date, what, a month after you got together?  
Is this actually your first date?

**Me** : We're not counting dinner  
We had dinner all the time before we were dating

**Raven** : You also went to the movies  
You did basically everything but have sex

**Me** : We also didn't make out  
So this is our first official date  
Together

**Raven** : Congratulations  
Glad that all worked out  
Please don't text me every time you go on a date  
I'll block your number

**Me** : Sorry for wanting to share our cuteness

**Raven** : You should be  
Have fun with your boyfriend

**Me** : Thanks  
Always do


End file.
